


You are alive, you are here, you are trying

by fireandashes



Category: Original Work
Genre: Coping, Healing, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:07:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22562269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireandashes/pseuds/fireandashes
Summary: This was a big of self indeulgent stuff I wrote on the whim. Working on myself is something I've been putting alot of attention to, and I just wanted to write about who I like to call my character coping with it.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	You are alive, you are here, you are trying

_Stupid pathetic fool._

_No I'm tryin-_

_Stupid. So stupid. Always a pathetic bitch, aren't you?_

She crouched down, head in her hands. Bracelets clinking against each other, nails cutting into her palms, she curled into herself, trying to make her body small, small small. Small enough that she was just a speck, small enough that her stupid brain could finally shut up.

She never cut her wrist, never saw what gave people the urge to do it. While her entire body was marked with tattoos and piercings adorned her ears, splitting open wrists was something that never gave her the satisfaction she so desperately wanted. Instead, she sat alone, curled into herself, trying to make herself insignificant, trying to shut down the thoughts.

 _Bath_ , she thought.

Shivering, she got up and let her cardigan fall to the floor, footsteps making way to the washroom.

The short dress she wore left her arms completely bare, and soon she started to feel the chill set in her, despite the heating. She turned on the bath, letting it fill the tub before she shrugged off her clothes, stepping inside. The warmth of the water made her wince, steam rising from around her, but she settled in anyway.

Yet again, she curled up. Knees drawn to her chest, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, immersing herself completely in the water for a minute before coming back up and letting her head rest against the tub's edge. 

Warm water always helped. Her thoughts had started to subside now, taking the form of silent tears streaming down. Once again she tucked her head in between her knees, broken sobs making her entire body shudder. 

The sentences of the gentler voice in her head repeated themselves like a mantra till the time that they were the only thing on her mind.

_You are alive, you are here, you are trying._

Other thoughts still came, negative thoughts never actually stopped, but she could lessen them.

_You are alive, you are here, you are trying._

.

.

.

Sage stood in front of her closet and pulled out a loose tank top and leggings and pulled them on before brushing through her damp hair once again.

Looking in the mirror again, examining her features. _For someone who's been crying alot, you sure as hell don't look like it,_ her thoughts came back to her and she shoved them away, picking up her phone and turning on the speakers.

Eyes closed, she waited for the music to begin. Slow at first, always slow.

Letting the tension seep from her shoulders, she let her body loose, let the artist's voice take over her, spinning around in the empty living room to her playlist.

The songs kept on changing, the sun started to set, lighting up the room in hues of orange, and slowly, night too, approached, but Sage did not stop till her legs gave out and she collapsed on the couch, exhausted, but smiling.

_You are alive, you are here, you are trying_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading y'all!!!!! Also, pls don't judge. I'm still a newbie at writing and this was basically me finding other outlets to let everything out, so ye...  
> Honestly, coping is hard, but I've been trying ways. Trust me, if you did nothing but open your eyes today, that was enough. You're doing great, you will get through this <33
> 
> @fireandashes54321 on tumblr


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